The World’s Worst Three Way

Thought Catalog

You know how it is, you’re lying there on the bed as two lovely twins enter the room. The mood is right, you’ve got their attention but you don’t know if you’re going to be able to handle them both, if you’re honest with yourself. You get going, the room heats up, you’re breathing heavy, sweating terribly, and just when you think you’re going to have to back out of this whole thing they turn on each other…with sexy results.

Except, in this case, the twins are a unified front of Sunni extremists and the Free Syrian Army and you are Bashar al-Assad. The room is the horrible rubble of your once forcibly unified country and “sexy results” is the FSA and the extremists killing each other instead of you.

So, here’s how it went down, “On Sept. 12, Islamic rebels in Syria declared war … on their fellow rebels…

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